


When Heaven's Not Far Away

by Sarai90



Series: Cold songfics [1]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: F/M, Post Goodbye Stranger
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-03-28
Updated: 2013-03-28
Packaged: 2017-12-06 18:41:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 378
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/738870
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sarai90/pseuds/Sarai90
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Songfic to Cold's song of the same name.</p>
            </blockquote>





	When Heaven's Not Far Away

**Author's Note:**

> I felt a deep and suffocating yearning for grieving!Cas and this just sort of...wrenched forth from my chest and came into being.

_ If you slip away in darkness, do you fall  
_ _ And if God created love, did he make it for everyone? _

Castiel sat in silence at a bus stop when Dean’s voice permeated his thoughts.

**‘Crowley killed Meg just as we were gettin’ away. Thought you might wanna know, since you two were…y’know…close.’**

He thought Dean would elaborate, but that was it.

The ensuing silence left Castiel feeling cold.

Meg had been there for him when even the Winchesters had left. She’d taken care of him.

Regardless that she was a demon, he…trusted her.

Angels were created without emotions. _  
_

That isn’t to say angels never felt them.

They were soldiers of Heaven, yes, but they were also observers of Earth. They inhabited human vessels. Angels were no strangers to emotions. But they weren’t used to feeling them once their vessel’s spirit was gone. _  
_

Castiel knew what love felt like. He felt love for his brothers and sisters. For the Winchesters.

But this felt different. More like what Jimmy felt for his wife, but stronger in a way, and weaker in another.

_Is there solitude and hope, can you still dream?_  
 _If the devil makes you cry, do you change?_

The emotions he held for the demon Meg ran deeper than any he’d experienced before. He wasn’t surprised by her death, but he was surprised by how intensely he grieved her passing.

Wrath is a sin, but he felt vengeful at that moment. He wanted to strike down Crowley more in that moment than he had since this entire endeavor began.

_Do the little things in life stay with your soul?_  
 _Does an angel hold a sign with directions for everyone?_

Castiel took in the silence around him, head bowed, and reflected.

Her kiss, meant to distract him so she could obtain his blade, was startling. Startling, in that he liked it so much. His kiss in return was meant to explore that feeling and obtain more concrete data, as well as put to practice what he had learned earlier.

_Is there someone there to have and hold for me?_  
 _If the stars refuse to shine, do you change?  
In my own shame, when heaven's not far away._

He would cherish that moment. There wouldn’t be another.


End file.
